My time at the Ashram and with Sree Maa Shriji
I vividly remember similar question posed by Mahvash Ali (a reporter from TV3 New Zealand) who wanted to interview me in October 2018.
I could not answer this simple question at that time!
The honest reason was that, I was
ashamed, I was very ashamed and actually got froze...by thinking about all the
harassment we caused to Sree Maa and Shriji that they had to move to one
corner of the big house and remain there by giving all the space so that we
could do what ever we wanted to do.
I never cooked, In fact didn't even know how to cook and was only taught by Sree Maa, during that time , It was Sree Maa who was cooking food and when it was about cleaning, I always pushed the responsibility on Jeeya with my hundred of excuses and justification so that I can have my beauty sleep.
Even when I did a little tiny bit, I made sure Sree Maa is looking at me because I want to show off that how much hard working I am, just imagine , playing games with the ONE who know inside out about one.. and when Sree Maa and Shriji was not looking, then I would cut Corners.
I was ashamed to think that how I lied to Sree Maa and Shriji from the starting, even to the extent of learning to do Seva (offer service), Bhakti (devotion) when apart from jealously, enviousness and being very selfish I did not have anything to offer but never came about it because I thought I would be able pretend and fake it , like all the time.
I never had any intention to work on my soul but to learn new ways so that I can show off to others and use them as my supply. Change was not in my mind, only Manipulation. I knew I was too good in Manipulating and would be able to play the same games with Sree Maa but didn't know that I was about to get the check mate this time and finally need to open my eyes and see the big bubble I was living in. I only got in real what I asked for.
I never cooked, In fact didn't even know how to cook and was only taught by Sree Maa, during that time , It was Sree Maa who was cooking food and when it was about cleaning, I always pushed the responsibility on Jeeya with my hundred of excuses and justification so that I can have my beauty sleep.
Even when I did a little tiny bit, I made sure Sree Maa is looking at me because I want to show off that how much hard working I am, just imagine , playing games with the ONE who know inside out about one.. and when Sree Maa and Shriji was not looking, then I would cut Corners.
I was ashamed to think that how I lied to Sree Maa and Shriji from the starting, even to the extent of learning to do Seva (offer service), Bhakti (devotion) when apart from jealously, enviousness and being very selfish I did not have anything to offer but never came about it because I thought I would be able pretend and fake it , like all the time.
I never had any intention to work on my soul but to learn new ways so that I can show off to others and use them as my supply. Change was not in my mind, only Manipulation. I knew I was too good in Manipulating and would be able to play the same games with Sree Maa but didn't know that I was about to get the check mate this time and finally need to open my eyes and see the big bubble I was living in. I only got in real what I asked for.
Sree Maa and Shriji was not
playing any games and after writing all those fake letters to be part of the
most sacred place, even though I did not have it in me .0001% but still always
Gracious Sree Maa and Shriji gave me this much of Strength so that I can get
what I asked for and that was to take Kosmic Fusion Mission to everyone in this
world, of what ever the fire of lives people are going through, Sree Maa's
vision can provide instant relief.
Now if I signed up for a Mission like this, obviously people like me who wrote fake commitment letters, have to go through some cleansing process so that, when we take it to the world, the vessel needs to be cleaned.
Now if I signed up for a Mission like this, obviously people like me who wrote fake commitment letters, have to go through some cleansing process so that, when we take it to the world, the vessel needs to be cleaned.